3 Steps You Must Take Once a Relationship Goes Bad

Once a relationship just isn’t working anymore, we can feel it in our gut. Most of us override that feeling with rationalizing and justifying why we should stay because we have already invested a tremendous amount of time, emotion and energy. These defense mechanisms come from fear. However, they can only delay the truth for so long, and then we must take that dreaded bite into reality and take the necessary steps to get out.
Here are seven steps to help you get out of an unfulfilling relationship:

1. Be clear on the reasons
Recount the number of times the same issues were brought up over and over again with no real movement from our partner to make the necessary changes. When we argue over the same issues again and again with no resolution, we can be sure this relationship is not the one we are looking for.

2. We must be prepared to discuss our reasons
In breaking up we will have to have yet another repetitive conversation regarding the unresolved issues which have been tearing the relationship apart, while being clear we are no longer willing to try, communicate or discuss these issues further. We do not have to expend energy proving ourselves. We simply have to state our decision.

3. Focus on the relationship, not the person
Just because the relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean there was something inherently wrong with our partner. It simply means the relationship itself fell grossly short of meeting our needs and we will no longer be in something that leaves us in an emotional drought. We no longer settle for less than we want or deserve.

2 Things to Stop Now if You Want a Successful Relationship

1. Quit thinking it WON’T last. Going into a relationship thinking it’s doomed means only one thing – it is. Every time things aren’t perfect you’ll feel validated. “See? I knew it. We didn’t have a chance.” If you honestly believe relationships will never stand the test of time then the reality is you will sabotage each one to ensure that you are right. You will test each partner to see how much of your bad behavior they can tolerate before finally leaving you as you yell, “I knew you’d never stay” to a slamming door. If this is you–don’t date until you’ve figured this out.

2. Quit playing games. You’re mad. Or sad. Or hurt. Your partner asks, “What’s wrong?” And you say, “nothing.” Or yell about something else entirely later that evening. Stupid, childish, relationship-killing games. Eventually people keep score. Get even. Withdraw affection. Stop trying to even find an answer. Instead? Talk to each other! Explain. Listen. Find a solution. Take hurt and anger out of the equation because they are two of the most manipulative, reactive, and dangerous emotions to use while trying to communicate respectfully.

10 Reasons Your Breakup Just Made Your Life (So Much) Better

They say you never know a good thing till it’s gone. But when it comes to breakups, there’s another phrase that rings true: hindsight is 20/20. In the aftermath of a messy split, it can be hard to have clarity.
So if you need a reminder, here are 10 reasons why your last breakup was a blessing in disguise:

1- Date night just got easier.

You may be tempted to think that because the relationship is over, date night is a thing of the past. Not so fast! Devote that time to caring for yourself. (The best part is, no arguing about where to eat!)

2- You can be yourself again.

With the relationship in the rear-view, you can let your hair down. Dig out that sweater she hated. Catch up on that Netflix original series he wouldn’t watch with you. Get reacquainted with the “you” who was stifled while you were in a relationship.

3- You know what you want.

A bad relationship can be just the thing you need to teach you what to avoid next time.

4- Enduring pain fosters empathy.

Your breakup may have been brutal, but it taught you to have compassion for others— a trait that translates into every facet of life.

5- You have learned who your true friends are.

There’s nothing like a breakup to expose false or fair-weather friends. On the flip side, you’ll know who your true friends are by who shows up to camp out on your couch with ice cream and a box of tissues.

6- You aren’t responsible for anyone, anymore.

There’s a funny saying about breaking up with someone: it’s the fastest way to lose 200 pounds. But seriously, the best thing about a breakup is that your ex

has to take his baggage with him.

7- You lost your excuse.

Unhealthy relationships come in every form imaginable. The worst relationship is one you hide behind. With the excuse of your significant other out of the way, you can finally face your fears and pursue your dreams.

8- You don’t have to hang around folks you don’t like.

Let’s be real: Your friends tried to warn you about him. And his were no walk in the park, either. Now that he’s out of the picture, you can simply enjoy the company of your friends again (without having to endure his).

9- You can hog the covers.

Or sleep in the middle of the bed. Or have five pillows all to yourself. And you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone!

10- The best is yet to come.

Closing the door on a relationship can be painful. But now that it’s over, you can open yourself up to better relationships in the future. You never know who is waiting just around the corner . . . might be the person you’ve really been searching for all along.