1. Quit thinking it WON’T last. Going into a
relationship thinking it’s doomed means only one thing – it is. Every
time things aren’t perfect you’ll feel validated. “See? I knew it. We
didn’t have a chance.” If you honestly believe relationships will never
stand the test of time then the reality is you will sabotage each one to
ensure that you are right. You will test each partner to see how much
of your bad behavior they can tolerate before finally leaving you as you
yell, “I knew you’d never stay” to a slamming door. If this is
you–don’t date until you’ve figured this out.
2. Quit playing games. You’re mad. Or sad. Or
hurt. Your partner asks, “What’s wrong?” And you say, “nothing.” Or yell
about something else entirely later that evening. Stupid, childish,
relationship-killing games. Eventually people keep score. Get even. Withdraw affection. Stop trying to even find an answer. Instead? Talk to each other! Explain. Listen. Find a solution. Take hurt and anger
out of the equation because they are two of the most manipulative,
reactive, and dangerous emotions to use while trying to communicate
respectfully.
No comments:
Post a Comment